Been thinking

Hi All,

Been thinking more and more about my interview and getting more and more worried. Here's why:-

1.  Halfway through the interview my tutor said he had another interview downstairs and had to dash - bit mean when it was my time - that left me and Andrew the guy in charge of the BA to go over the rest of my stuff.  Thought it was a bit off that Ian couldnt give me all of my half hour.

2.  I was talking to some of the guys on my course who have applied for Brighton, which is a relief because it means it gives us a chance of getting in because they are good!  But they had a word with Ian as they are worried that if they don't get into Brighton then they will be stuck - so Ian has agreed to interview them next week just incase they dont get into Brighton - so does this mean that we will be pushed out if they do come to Hastings college?? 

3. There are only six places and 13 of us were interviewed on Friday.  Then of course now they are interviewing 3 more next week! What chance do I have then!!!

It's all going round in my head and its going to drive me mad until I find out what the score is.

Also Im fed up because - the essay - that I am posting on my journal - was given a distinction by one tutor and a high merit by another and they cant decide what its going to be!! If I get a distinction it will be my first one!!! So why cant I have it - what do you have to do to get one????

Sorry peeps just sounding off - I can see that that would be a bit boring for you all to read but just getting it off my chest - Im gonna have a moan about work tomorrow got an issue with that too!! LOL

Love Laine xxx

 

Interview went well

Thanks so much for your comments everyone - the interview went really well - I think!! How do we ever know what other people are thinking.  Anyway, I got positive vibes off of them both.  I felt relaxed and there were no awkward pauses - I felt that my work just sold itself for me as they were very impressed with it. Especially the Leader of the course who hadnt met me before - the fine art tutor is my tutor already and he hadnt seen my work for a while so he was interested to see my transition.  All in all I felt good when I came out - I should hear in about one to two weeks. Fingers crossed!!!

I will put my alerts back on now I feel less pressured! Be good to see how everyone is doing! Mind you its full steam ahead now for my exhibition - I only have about five weeks to do it!! LOL I like working under pressure.

Take care

Love Laine xx

 

Interview!!!!

Hi Everyone,

I've got my interview tomorrow!!! EEEEEEK!!! I had a mock interview with my tutor today - she was really hard on me! I got through it though - she said I should be fine as my work is really strong! I just got to believe in myself! I'm just finishing off my port-folio now - nearly there! Interview at one o'clock!! So got time to make myself look presentable and any last minute bits I need to do.

Will let you know how I get on and I will be back on alerts after that!!!

Hope you are all well.

Love Laine xxxxx

Alerts

Sorry I forgot to say - I've not turned my alerts on again yet - probably be back on next weekend.  I will be visiting you all though so watch out for me LOL. Love Laine xxxx

Sunday

Hello all,

I did finally get round to putting my 4th part of my essay on my journal at the weekend but I dont think anyone got the alert for it. 

Im getting on really well with my work - I've made a good start on pasting all my images onto my model - so Im feeling a bit better about that. I've got to get all my stuff ready for my interview on Friday - which Im not worried about really - I either get in or I dont!!

Bought a gorgeous gorgeous dress for my brother's wedding - will try get a pic of it when I can.

Take care everyone and hope you all had a great weekend.

Love Laine xxxx

 

 

Part 4 of essay

Fig. 5. Take a chance on  me. Sculpture, 2004, Elaine Sayers

 

Sonja Wyndham-West, tutor, reminded me of my sculpture that I worked on last year (see fig 5). I created a cardboard box sculpture painted with white acrylic, covered in text messages, lines from emails, real personal ‘stuff ‘ that I glued  all over the box and made it public. The dice were symbols of the chance I had taken in love.

 

One of the many artists I was studying at that time was Tracy Emin. I was particularly interested in her work ‘Everyone I ever slept with’. Emin was brave enough to embroider a tent with more than 100 names of people that she had ‘slept’ with. (See fig. 6). It was a bold statement but subtle at the same time. To read all the names one had to crawl in to the tent – thus making men crawl rather than stand tall. This tent was a very clever piece of work, very creative and very meaningful.  The viewer, once inside, would be encompassed by Emin’s thoughts and feelings.  The same way I want to encompass the viewer of my work.

 

Fig. 6 ‘Everyone I ever slept with’, Tracy Emin, 1997

 

I was encouraged by Sonja to reinstate the excitement I had when I was involved in my sculpture project. I needed to change my direction. I took a look at the workspace I had at college. It was not adequate enough for creating the atmosphere I wanted. I had a partition put in to create my own space and enable me to surround myself with my work.  I put down the paintbrushes, picked up my digital camera and headed for the woods where I would take multiple photographs and use them to bring a sense of exterior space inside. This was going to be the beginning of something very new and exciting.  I felt the need to share this with other people so I created a journal on the internet and logged my day to day experiences and thoughts about my work.  It was brilliant, a great buzz, people were excited about my work and encouraging me from all over the world. 

hello

Hello everyone,

I hope you are all well.  I'm still struggling with my work load and thats why I havent turned on my alerts yet - but I will visit you all later to see how you are all doing.

My interview for my top-up degree is next week and like my tradition I am no where near ready for it yet!! I'm also still struggling to make my model for my final piece but none of its worrying me yet!!!

I had some lovely news last night - as I may have told you before my brother is getting married in August, in Norwich - anyway, he asked me to be his witness last night - how chuffed am I!!! It had never even crossed my mind that he would want me to be his witness!!! Im so excited!!!!

Anyway take care my journal buddies - I will be back LOL!!

Love Laine xxxx

Can't Cope!!

Hello my Jland Friends,

I'm so sorry but I'm going to turn my alerts off for a while - I just can't cope with all the work I have at the moment. It's getting me down;

Firstly, I have to think of a proposal for a dissertation and only have two weeks to do that. 

Secondly, I have to get my port-folio together for 28th April (interview).

Also got 500 pics to print out for my model installation - then in June its the real thing so got to get sorted for that too!!

Then there is the kids to look after, the house to look after, the dog to look after, me to look after LOL and John, bless him. Suddenly I'm having a can't cope phase. 

I really will try and get the rest of my essay on to my journal for you too as I know some of you are enjoying reading it - so I will try my best. But, John told me to not spend so much time on journals and concentrate on my work and he is right. 

I will miss you all - but I will catch up with you again soon - I'm not disappearing for ever - just a couple of weeks.

Love Laine xxxxx

 

Essay

Well I did at last get the third part of my essay onto my journal - sorry about all the funny bits on it - bits from word I think!!!! Laine xxxxxx

Part Three of Essay

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As intimated in my last paragraph I was determined, in year one of HND, to be a painter.  I would walk into the woods, sketchbook in hand, sketch away and hopefully transfer these thoughts, feelings, marks I was making onto canvas.  I was at the time reading a lot about Constable and his love of trees.  His sketchbooks I scanned at the V&A museum and they excited me immensely, I felt honoured to be looking at such beautiful work. (See fig. 3).  Constable’s sketchbooks capture the pure essence of the beauty that Constable saw before him. This work encouraged me to spend more time out on location and soak up what was around me just like Constable had done.

 Fig. 3. View on the <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Stour, Museum no. Sketchbook 1259-1888

John Constable used this sketchbook during 1814.
Actual size 11.3cm x 8.6cm, Victoria and Albert Museum.

When I started year 2of HND I had a mental block with my art creativity, I did not know which way to turn. I spoke to Rod Harman, he inspired me to carry on by speaking of Constable saying that the wind in the trees reminded him of his wife’s last breath when she was dying of cancer.  This stirred up a great emotion rush in me, how wonderful and beautiful that Constable could hear or see such things in nature.  This gave me the strength to carry on with what I believed in. 

 

It wasn’t enough for me that I was just sketching and painting. The paintings I produced at the end of my first year were good but they lacked something. Something that I was trying to pull out of the woods wasn’t quite happening in my paintings. The first few paintings I created at the beginning of year 2 were good and seemed successful in what I was trying to achieve but they still lacked something. See fig 4.

 

Fig 4. Painting No.2, 2005, Elaine Sayers

 

 

I did not know what this was.  I felt very down about my work and was not able to paint anymore.  I had lost the enthusiasm and enjoyment of painting. It was not working. I had to change.

 

 

 

 

Saturday

I'm frustrated because I just did a whole long entry - finished it then went to look in my file manager and yes you guessed it my journal disappeared and my whole entry went with it!!!! Drat!!!!!!!

I really dont feel like writing it all again!!! But I will try.

I was saying that the house feels quiet without the kids and it felt really empty last night so John and I went to the pub for a nice pint of beer and that cheered us up - it was a lovely old quiet pub and hardly anyone in there so it was nice - also had a lovely log fire going.

I have got my interview for my BA Hons Fine Art top-up degree on Friday 28th April at 1:00pm EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!  Really scared!!!  The course is just a year long and at the end, if I'm successful I will have a degree in fine art! During that year we have to do a dissertation of about 5,000-8,000 words - so for the interview I have to write a proposal - that has to be handed in a week before the interview!! Cripes!!!  I also have to get my port-folio together - with work I think they should see - that Ive done over the last three years - including sketch books and essays etc. another cripes!!!!   I also still havent got on very well with my installation for my exhibition in June - lots of work to do for me at the moment!!!!  I have no idea what to propose to write for the dissertation - some of the suggestions I dont even understand - cant even ask tutors as the college is now closed for Easter!!!

Sorry I havent done my third part of the essay yet - I will post it soon - I promise!!! Its not as easy to post as I thought it would be!!! It wont just paste in direct form word but I will get it to you!!!

John and I are out tonight - over to our friends Shelley and David - they dont have any kids - they have pussy cats LOL - lovely persian cats - all nice and fluffy LOL.  Not sure what David and John will talk about tonight as they now both work for competitors - so no work talk!! LOL Right Im off for a nice soak in the bath - then get ready - Shelley always looks so nice - well she hasnt got kids and can spend all her money on clothes - I cant even remember the last time I went shopping for me!!!!!

Take care and have a good weekend.

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Medal day

Hi Everyone,

Thank you so much for the lovely comments yesterday - your so lovely all of you!!!!

All the kids are gone now and I must admit I had a few tears - silly me - we had such a lovely week together though.  Still John and I are relaxing now.

Took some lovely pictures on our walk yesterday as you can see and also of my little Joe as his football week came to a close.

Right Im off to see Corrie. All have a good weekend.

Love Laine xxxx

 

hello

Hello everyone,

I hope you are all well - I'm sorry I havent got round to posting part three yet of my essay - Ive been so busy with the kids here.

Its been a lovely week having all the children here. It's been ages since we had all five children here together - First time Emma has stayed with us for about two years. She will be 18 this month!! She was fairly distant from us from about the age of 15 til about 6 months ago and she slowly let us back in her life again.  I missed her so much and Im so glad she is around again. Lovely for me to have another girl in the house. 

We have had a lovely time together these past few days!!  John thanked me for making his children so happy!  He has had to work all week and hasnt been able to be there for them as much as he would have wanted.  He doesnt need to thank me I enjoy having kids around.  They grow up too quick and we have to make the most of them while they are young.

My little Joe has been at a football training school all week and they get their medals tomorrow - a little presentation afternoon.  Awww cant wait for that - he has really enjoyed himself this week.  He must be tired!

Well John's children go back tomorrow - Emma brought her car down so she is driving them home - then  my kids go to their dad after tea - blimey it will feel empty here tomorrow evening!

Love Laine xxxxx

 

 

My lovely Oscar

Oh how our lovely dog keeps us smiling all the time as can be seen in these pics.

You shove over James - I'm in this bed tonight - let me in, let me in!

That Chris and Sam think they can move me - well they got another thing coming!!

I'm telling you now I am not moving from this bed. My Mummy will be here soon - so watch out!!

See my mummy will tuck me in!!!

Ahhh night night mummy - me tired. Hard work chasing that ball today.

That's better now I've got my lovely toy and the covers all nice and cosy.

Do you think I can stay here all night??? Mummy??

 

Essay Part two

Fig. 1. Summertime: Number 9A  1948, Jackson Pollock.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

 

 

Fig 2. Painting No. 1, 2005, Elaine Sayers

 

When I visited the Tate Modern for the first time, three years ago, it was Pollock’s Summertime, Number9A (see fig 1.) that attracted my attention.  I recorded my first thoughts of this painting in my journal,

 

“This space is pulsing with energy; it is made up of endless filaments, tentacles, and flecks of paint, all springing and flying together.  It felt like a star map, maybe the nerve paths of a brain or a tangled primeval forest. The feeling I have from this painting is uplifting, elating and a release into space.”[1]

 

Looking back at that quote now seems ironic that I am now actually painting and photographing forests! I believe that my painting in Fig. 2 is greatly inspired by Pollock’s work. When comparing the two paintings there is a lot of similarity in the movement of the paint and the energy that has been put onto the canvas. This painting I created at the end of my first year in HND Fine Art.  I submersed myself in painting that year and experimented using emulsion paints, acrylic paint, twigs, toy cars, sticks, in fact anything that wasn’t a paint brush to apply the paint! To create the painting in Fig 2, I used black and white emulsion paint, twigs and the wind to create the feel of outside. This painting worked for me because it was dancing before me, like the leaves on the trees, like the branches swaying over the canvas. The wind was in this painting.  It reminded me of Pollock’s work and I was suitably satisfied with it.

 

[1] Journal of E V Sayers,  2003

My Essay Part one

 

(Copyright) Please do not attempt to copy or use this essay in anyway without asking my persmission first.

 

I have decided to serialise my essay for you to read - only if you want to - putting the first bit in has been easy but Im not sure about the embedded images I have in the next pages - yet to be worked out.  Anyway for those of you who are interested here is part one. Dont be too bored LOL Laine xxx

 

My Personal Development - by Laine

 

I found a beautiful quote on the internet by William Blake which epitomises my feelings on the subject matter of my work at present.

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The tree which moves some to tears of joy is in the eyes of others only a
green thing that stands in the way.  Some see Nature all ridicule and
deformity, and some scarce see Nature at all.  But to the eyes of the
man of imagination, Nature is Imagination itself.
-  William Blake, 1799, The Letters 

If you, the reader, are now starting to think my subject matter is focused on trees and nature, then you would be right in thinking so.  For a long time I struggled with convincing tutors that my subject matter mattered! There was a good reason for me to go walking in the woods and take everything in that was around me. Hopefully, by the time you have read the following essay it will become clear how my work has developed and what I intend to do to take it forward.  Many artists have influenced me along the way and it would certainly take more than 3,000 words to explain them all.  I have chosen the artists that I felt had the biggest influences.  I mention my tutors a lot too because I feel that they are very important in my personal development and it is them that guided me through a large part of my experience in the art world.  I have read numerous art history books, poetry, visited galleries and scanned the internet for ideas. I have not quoted from many sources in this essay because I feel this is very much about me and my development and not what other people have said.  If, something I read, or something someone said, seemed important to my development then I will have included it.

Sunday

 

Hello everyone,

I hope you are all having a happy Sunday - I'm really tired for some reason.  We just came back from having our sunday lunch out - naughty but nice.  I did not fancy cooking for all six of us - I've got to do that all week! John's boys here til Friday.  Anyway we took all the boys to the Woolpack, where John and I went last week.  It was really nice - food lovely and loads of it.  I had a cherry pie with custard for pudding and I was most disappointed as there were no cherries in it just like a sort of jam!!! Never mind.  Anyway there was a couple sitting next to us and I think we were annoying them - we are not loud but we are not quiet either - we all chat to each other and we laugh alot.  I hate it when out of the corner of your eye you know people are staring at you - do they think, god, look how many kids they've got, do they think god they are noisy or are they jealous or what but they didnt take their eyes off us the whole time we were there - when I turned round and smiled they pretended to be looking at their food and do you know what they never spoke to each other once - not once - the only time they spoke was to order their food!!  Oh well we had a great time!!!

Anyway, John and James are building my mini installation this afternoon - I feel guilty as they are working hard and Im sitting here on the computer while they do it!!! Nice to have workers LOL.

Anyway I better go see if the workers want a cuppa!! LOL

Love Laineyxxxx

Saturday

How cute are these fairies - thank you JAN!!! Well that has made me feel all girlie!!

Got quite a busy week ahead. John's boys arrived last night - they are here til next Friday as the schools are now closed for the Easter break.  College doesnt close til next Friday - so I will miss a week of college but I might be able to pop in if John is around. He thinks he will only be away one night next week.  Emma might be popping down to see us all too - so that will be nice for me to have a girlie around even if its only just for a day!

Just too cute arent they!! LOL anyway back to journal..... So I dont know what I am going to do with the boys all week.  Joe is booked onto a football course which is 10-3 every day so he is sorted - I expect the others will be happy just chilling, go swimming, down the beach lots of walks etc.  But at least my ten year old Joe is occupied - he is the hardest to keep busy.

There they are again!!! bless them.  Anyway - bit of progress with my installation this weekend. John and his son James (14) - went to the timber place and got the panels and wood cut for my minature installation - thought I would do a small one then get an idea before I do the actual thing - I will take pics of it to show you all when its done. So anyway at least things are moving now!!! So i feel better about that.

I sent my customer survey to AOL - LOL had a good old moan in that! Wonder if that will make any difference dont think so some how.  Anyway Im on gold now and we are wireless!! Well the laptop is - quite clever really.  John tried it out upstairs and we had fun IM'ing each other - reminded me of when we first met on Yahoo. How romantic we can still do it LOL,

Anyway have a great weekend guys and take care.

Love Laine xxxx